I CAN MOONWALK!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
