problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
