the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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