if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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