in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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