He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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