I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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