I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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