i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
