she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
