AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize