Is it normal to miss your booty call?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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