I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
vagina is talking i cant
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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