his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
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I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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