Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
