you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
