I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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