come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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