Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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