I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize