im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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