He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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And then my night got REAL pukey
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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