i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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