i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
