What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
