On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
