What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
