I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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