Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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