she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
