there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We have so much sex to catch up on
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
