i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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