Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think i have two assholes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
