I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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