i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just gargled with NyQuil
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
