every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
