I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.