I'm gonna have a badass scar
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia