she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)