im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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