They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.