Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
