i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
