I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
