One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
