I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
