i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
