quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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