I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize