I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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