Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize