I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize