Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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