Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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