You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
