so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
