got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
