Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
