I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
