Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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