ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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